I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
