awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
