in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
