I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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