i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
