I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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