Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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