I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
