Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
