i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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