So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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