My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
