i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
