Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
