I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
