Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
