she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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