you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
