My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
