i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
