And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
