Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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