Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
