I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
