yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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