i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
