Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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