So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
