No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
