k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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