if you like me you must not know who I am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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