If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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