Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
