I'm lost and stupid without you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
