There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
