i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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