I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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