you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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