yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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