his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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