I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
