just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i think my cat just said my name.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
