Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
