So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
