she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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