please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
