I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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