in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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