He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
