I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex on a dog bed..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
